My “issues” with religion run deep. I am a non-practicing Catholic since my late 20s; I curse like a drunken sailor; I lose faith if I get a hangnail, I’m insecure most times for no apparent reason. But, as much as I fail to “believe” and “have faith” on many occasions, I mean, I need a bushel, not a mustard seed, I also realize something very important. I realize that someone besides my mom wants me to succeed despite my “issues.”
Someone besides my mom wants me not to give up and blend into the cold wet earth. Someone besides my mom looks out for me even when I curse and cry that no one gives a fuck about me and what I am trying to accomplish. Someone besides my mom does not judge me by the number of friends I have, or that I am not “smooth” enough, not “nickel slick” enough to take whatever I want without regard of others. Someone besides my mom knows exactly who I am and how I want to present myself to the world, whenever I present myself. Most importantly I realize that someone besides my mom knows I CANNOT GIVE PRAISE UNTIL I LEARN TO PRAISE MYSELF.
Whomever that someone is accepts Lorrie even when I feel let down at every turn, when I am unmotivated and scared of life. Whomever that someone is that rests on my shoulders, God, Buddha, Allah, etc. that someone is patient enough, unlike many humans and with the exception of my mom, to allow Lorrie to find her way as best she can do, warts and all. And I truly am GRATEFUL to whomever that someone is.
Here’s wishing everyone a flourishing 2014, warts and all! LDS
Well, kids I am not writing in my blog as much these days while I attempt to finish two fiction books and, of course, move out of state. Both things are daunting tasks and expensive, but while life does its thing, all I can do is live in it and keep my head above water.
The good news is I have support from a boutique American and International literary agency who partnered with me and my projects. As a result of that tiny agency’s efforts, I am being considered by entertainment folks, not necessarily Hollywood, which makes me very happy. (Americans can be VERY jaded and judgmental especially with creative non-mainstream souls who simply want to have their voice heard in an already crowded creative market). I am grateful for the attention and can’t wait to finish my projects.
Keep in mind I am a self-taught writer who is neither well-known or seasoned, my degrees are in Psychology not creative writing and I do not blog or market myself very well. By all accounts I should not be considered. The advent of Social Networking, however, has allowed me to alert the WORLD of my presence. With that stated I dare you to keep up with me as I ride the waves while I continue to be broke, unemployed, but silly happy. The way I see it these days is that success, whether financial, love, work or friendship is within my grasp even when my grip is often weak. Actually, I get so frustrated I lament that I will NEVER find SUCCESS. But, I also keep in mind a few things to strengthen my “grip” on a daily basis:
My hands – knit, write.
My brain – read, create and learn.
My body & heart – cardiovascular.
My soul – fortify with faith, courage and positivity.
By doing these things I remind myself that SUCCESS is in fact the air I breathe and the life I live in abundance every single day. All other successes are merely in my grasp. And while we none of us are perfect, I will continue to strengthen my GRIP, daily.
BACK SOON! LDS