One never stops learning, life is patterned that way, you ALWAYS and forever learn until you can no longer breathe air.  It is how one absorbs the lesson and takes heed to the lesson, however, that matters most.  Each lesson is designed to help one grow.

Back in the day, when I was younger and inexperienced about certain aspects of life, I fancied being an actress.  I studied at an acting conservatory in  my hometown then I moved to Los Angeles, California and was excited about “breaking in” to Hollywood.  I learned it was not the business of Hollywood that was difficult for me to navigate, it was the people in Hollywood that made “breaking in” very tough.  I was always independent, not the type of person who ran with the pact; I was never into cliques, not in school not anywhere.  In Hollywood, however, if you are not part of that closed door “clique” if you’re not someone’s relative, lover, spouse or partner, if you have no one to usher you in, you can’t get in.

An example of one type of “clique’ is that I was once referred to an acting agent who offered to represent me.  We sat, we talked, he told me the parts I would be good for.  And then in his next breath he said, “Oh, by the way if we started dating…”  (Whoa, what?)  I walked out, or ran out, of his office and never looked back.  I was not scared, I was angry.  Why the f**k did I need someone getting ten percent of my paycheck as a boyfriend?  I wasn’t in his office looking for a date and what did dating have to do with finding me a job anyway?  I had begun not to like Hollywood, but I persevered.  Except…

…I dropped acting and turned to writing plays, something I had done since I was a young girl.  I did not need to “date” an agent to put on a play, so I stuck with it.  I enjoyed writing, I especially enjoyed writing dialogue, plays in particular.  My biggest playwright influences at that time was Neil Simon and Jules Pfeiffer, mainly because of the way they crafted their characters’ monologues, long and drawn out.

While still living in Los Angeles I joined a playwrights group, wrote a couple short plays, even won an award for one of my plays.  It was through the writing group that I met actors and people behind the scenes of television shows.  I made friends with some of the people behind the scenes who seemed nice enough to me.  And the best part about those friends, they appreciated my writing skills.  Cool!  I was part of the Hollywood clique and all I needed to do was be talented.

I shared some of my writing work with those people whom I trusted, people who promised to help me become a writer for television.  Back then I wrote my scripts on a very slow Brother Word Processor and saved them on floppy disks, anyone old enough to remember floppys?  My friends gave me scripts to study, they read my treatment ideas and I felt confident I had finally found my way.

A few years later I found it difficult to support myself in Los Angeles; I lost my job, greedy apartment landlords evicted us tenants and sold our refurbished apartments as condos.  I returned to San Francisco “fallen down, but not destroyed.”  To make me feel better about my failed attempt at Hollywood I watched two of my favorite television shows, In Living Color and Married With Children.  I watched them every season they ran on television.  During Season 5 of In Living Color and Season 6 of Married with Children, I noticed two of my script ideas were filmed on those shows.  Now, back then I was upset.  I never said anything about those scripts, matter of fact, I kept them hidden away in storage.  I thought to myself, “wow, I sure am naïve.”

One never stops learning, life is patterned that way, you ALWAYS and forever learn until you no longer breathe air.   

What did I learn after my years in Hollywood?   I learned that there are people, not just in Hollywood, but all over, who are more ambitious than me, more aggressive and more cut throat than I could ever be and that is fine with me.  Someone out there wants something harder than me and will do whatever they have to do to get it, good for them.   I may not be part of a certain type of “clique,” I may not be aggressive and “cut throat,” but I am talented enough to keep writing and talented enough to have my work be in the clique.  I have decided I no longer need to run and hide embarrassed that someone took my ideas and profited from them.  I am, therefore, proud to show off my work and to state “hey, here is where you can see my work!” I learned about myself that I am one good writer who wrote two pieces that are forever part of Tee Vee history.  And there it is!  I’m kind of proud of myself, actually.

Until next time, Cheers! (Another of my favorite shows, but one I never scripted an idea for)


Married With Children – (written by L.D. Sargent) Episode idea title: “Dedicated to His Feet.”  Al has a Shoe Groupie.  Married with Children (Fox TV, December, 1991) Season 6, Episode title:  “So, This is How Sinatra Felt.”

In Living Color – (written by L.D. Sargent) Episode idea title: “Yo Mamma The Game Show” parody.    In Living Color (Fox TV, 1993) Season 5, Episode Title: “The Dirty Dozens,” game show parody


golden writingA door has finally crept open, just a crack, just a bit to allow me to walk through.

With the help of “saints” and “special souls” I am able to realize my life-long dream of becoming a television writer.  My script might not make “traditional” television, it might  only become a short piece that piggy backs off some other show I am told.  WHO CARES?  I am just grateful to have a stab at something that makes ME feel happy and fulfilled.  They can put my show on the internet for free for all I care, as long as it is what I created.

I have only wanted one thing in my life, never achieved that, and yet I have done many other things, but only having performed them fairly well.  My mom used to teasing refer to me as a, “jack of all trades, master of none.”  She wanted me to pick one thing and do it well, but I just could not, I was all over the place. And now that I don’t have time to waste on lofty dreams and goals I may finally be forced to concentrate on doing one thing well, one thing that I have wanted to be since I was younger, become “a professional writer who gets paid doing what I love.”  Once I achieve that status all will be well with the world.  Until then I’ve got script re-writes, drafts and I will have to partner with other more established writers before anything happens with my script.  Again, WHO CARES?  I’m celebrating my artistic life!

Until I see my writing to a positive fruition, with the way Hollywood operates I will have to hold on to my 9 to 5 job, I’ll remain hopeful.  Hopeful and grateful to have a job, albeit a very stressful and draining job.  But, I will hold on to as much faith as I can in order to thrive beyond the bill paying world.  I will hold on to faith and believe that I will finally become the artist I was meant to be.  I am always golden, grateful to live and breathe and be healthy, but I am not completely in sync with my life, not while there is so much more living I need to do.  I am sounding like I have given way to a “positive affirmation” blog, buy oh well, whatever.  I will focus harder work harder on my goals and write harder.  When my big moment as a writer arrives and I see my work branch out from keyboard and computer screen to something bigger and more prosperous and on a more permanent basis I will truly be now and forever, BEYOND GOLDEN.

Cheers!  LDS

golden champs_edited