Exposed Brick

I have a couple of plans in the making.  I plan to move to NYC because it is only about five hours from Paris.  Actually, I would LOVE to live the rest of my life in Paris, but I refuse to give up my American citizenship. So yea, I’m moving to NYC to be close to Paris, France basically. And, I want to live within exposed brick, I absolutely love the aesthetic of exposed brick!  If that means I will be an elderly woman walking up 15 flights of stairs in a 1910 Edwardian because the elevator never works, so be it.  Let me explain. brick bedroomNo one ever gets exactly what they want, I get that.  But, I WILL have what I want especially at this time in my life because I finally understand that if you don’t believe you deserve something you won’t get that something. I have finally learned to believe in what I want because I spent my entire life giving everyone and everything what they want.  I want what I call, Universal Reciprocity. 

I am a good, loving, dutiful and conscientious daughter; I am a good, loving and conscientious pet owner; I am a good employer; timely and honest taxpayer; I am a productive American citizen who volunteers at soup kitchens and I give some of my possessions away from time to time.  Why shouldn’t my universe give me reciprocity?

brick room 3What in hell does “exposed brick” have to do with U.R. you ask?  Well, in MY world, exposed brick  embraces earth to stone, earth tt or are buried beneath.  Brick is our flesh and soil and we respect it for what it is and from where it comes. I respect the earth not just as the interior of my domain or the exterior of an old building, but as a piece of the universe that I live amongst. I want Universal Reciprocity so that I may live where I choose to live and love whom I feel needs my love and I want to travel where I feel most comfortable. Well, I want that and money and a decent way to make a living that doesn’t suck up my entire being. But, that’s another blog. I want one other thing. I want acknowledgement from my so-called peers. Let me explain. brick bathroomIf I praise the works of established artists, I expect those artists to “follow” me and “tweet” me or whatever it is, Facebook, Twitter, Flashagram, stripagram, flipagram, whatever, and praise me the way I praise them. They don’t have to “in box” me or DM me, or whatever the hell the terminologies are. Just no more one-sided praise to people whom I don’t know or have anything invested in other than purchasing their works.  If I tell the world your CD or TeeVee show or movie is great, you should be telling the world my self-published book is great or that keychain I knitted is fabulous or my website is “cute” or something. Of course, I am not needing acknowledgement from people I already know, or bloggers who have connected with me, we all are in the same boat, giving away free publicity to artists who don’t even have the decency to call you by the sex that you are. I am female, yet I can’t state how many times I am referred to as “sir” because I acronym my name, LD. No one looks at my website where I placed pictures of me naked from the top up!? Really?

brick room 2So there it is, folks.  I want my universe to respect me the way I respect it and all that is around me, people, animals, the earth. Respect and acknowledge me as I respect and acknowledge the beauty of exposed brick and offer me reciprocity in many aspects of my life. I want give-and-take, ying-yang, re-ci-pro-ci-ty! Plain and simple! Course, this current rambling post is partially brought on by the remnants of a raging cold,  I am not even sure what I am writing here.   I think my point is that if I scream loudly enough to my universe I am sure I will have what I want, or at least something close it it.  But, the exposed brick, nope won’t back down on that.  I LOVE the aesthetic!

Until I write again, not sure when, have a great week ahead, all! LDS

Bay Area Brooklyn Belle

It is not yet official, but my move from the eclectic weather of the West Coast to the seasonally extreme survivalist weather of the East Coast is calling me.  I originally wanted to move to Paris, and I will someday because it too calls.  But for now my decision to move out of my home town is long overdue.  I feel like I have been pushed aside like an unused napkin at my favorite restaurant.  Well, not so much “pushed aside” as I believe there is nothing in this city for me to thrive on anymore.

Case in point:

Few straight men who aren’t already coupled up and those who are my age date 20 year-olds.

Few male/female friends and associates who are my age and single, everyone’s a grandparent looking to retire by now. 

Work is hard to find that isn’t the typical city job with benefits, been there, done that.  And, unfortunately my work skills seem nearly outmoded in this generation with the exception that I acquired some HTML skills from manipulating online websites.

Middle class people who look like me, including some friends, have all moved out of the city to find work making San Francisco nearly less blended.

I am no longer motivated to live in the laid-back environment of California.

Why Brooklyn?  Well, NYC itself is VERY blended, although, some boroughs are more blended than others, obviously.  But, Brooklyn is away from the “hubub,” Manhattan, basically.  I think it is where I need to be, a quiet shut-in of a writer/creative artist who lives in a semi-hip, non-Manhattan-where-everything-exists-only area.  Now, I hate the idea of hustling and holding down ten jobs just to survive like people in New York tend to do, I’ve seen it in action.  And, I don’t plan to “work where I can find it” and live in a hovel with strangers with my two elderly pussies in tow struggling to survive with no heat or air conditioner.  This is the reason I chose not to move to the East Coast last year.  Plus, I had my ailing mom to consider and bills and debt to pay, still do.  Yes, I held myself back from fear of failing, basically. 

But, San Francisco has become an extremely expensive place to reside for a single mid-life gal without a rich boyfriend or “dependents.”  And I have no reason to live here anymore, not really.  I am, therefore,  ready and motivated to move on and live in a town that will push me off the comfort of my flat black bottom and into the world of “movers and groovers.”  I am ready to find the right job, support myself and flourish with my hobbies which is encouraged, I’ve seen it in action in the East Coast.  I was always the type who needed to be pushed forward just a little, might as well be now.  Besides, life is nothing if one is not moving forward and I am truly sick and tired of WATCHING everyone else move forward while I remain in one spot struggling.

I believe I have faced my fears and insecurities and I am actively pushing myself forward and onward.  I am now focused on what I want and what will make me happy.  I am ending one chapter and beginning another to finally carve a name and place for myself before I blend into the earth.

So there it is and here I am and onward I push.  Don’t wish me luck, just wish me well.  Thanks!

L.D., a future Bay Area Brooklyn Belle