Of course I know life is not fair, never has been never will be. Sh*t happens, natural disasters, which seem to be the new “black” these days, are running rampant along with unemployment, homelessness, so on.
Life is not fair. I am always coming up slightly short, or just getting by but not getting over. I spent my life trying to grab hold of a brass ring only to get pushed off the merry-go-round by more aggressive ring grabbers time and time again.
But, my “issues” are not why I state life is unfair, sh*t happens, of course it does. My whole life is racing before me, as it is with us all, and all I have going for me is to pay my bills month after month and exist, month after month, year after year, natural disaster victims, old people, but this is not why I state life is not fair. Life is just…well, life.
I am learning that to be happy you have to make of life what YOU can regardless of the circumstance. This is what I am learning. I am learning that life does not offer up happiness, you have to find it where you can and hold on tight in order not to fall off the deep edge when life throws you a curve ball. Actually, what makes me not fall off the deep edge is something my mother always said, “don’t commit suicide, you’ll only make your enemies happy!” :c) Sorry, *snort* but that cracks me up every time. Point is, I try not to give up and to realize life is life and I have to keep it pushing. But, at times I get frustrated at life. Case in point:
I read an article today about some young chick who lost her job, ended up living in a trailer, blogged about it and now she has a book deal. That gal was homeless, but kept her laptop without electricity and managed to get thousands of readers to view her blog without purchasing blog ads. http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews
How’d that happen? I am not homeless, not yet, and I had a good life, no drugs, with a normal parent, very little controversy, no sex tapes, I ate regularly, was clothed, bathed and had medical and dental. Don’t I have a voice? Why is it no one is interested in what people like me have to say, but rather those with severe issues get all the glory? I have been trying for years to get my mom’s photography slash table book published by traditional publishers, but to no avail. What did I do wrong? Should I have lied about having a hard-knock life with no apartment, toss out my cats and my bed, rape a few puppies, beat my poor mother to a bloody pulp and hold her book between my sagging naked boobs to get attention?! Hmm?! I guess life only becomes fair when you have a “gimmick” in place, right? But, what about those of us with no gimmick? How in the hell do we get our voices heard?
Everyone deserves to have a voice and to commercialize it in order to make a living in the right way. But, why is it the lucky people are those who do twists and turns and bend the truth or sleep around or pretend to be homeless, I am not saying that gal pretended. Years ago both the Chicago Times and Oprah herself were duped by people who had claimed to be something they weren’t. Those folks, those liars, got book deals, they made money and they got more than 15 minutes of fame. I will never forget those stories nor will I have sympathy for those duped folks. But, what about the message, life is unfair unless you pull the wool over someone’s eyes?
I am not bitter. I am simply frustrated and so over life right now. I am not a hustler, I don’t need to lie or fabricate, or do a sex tape to get over, I have talent that I simply want to express truthfully, plain and simple. Oh well, guess I will have to see what the future brings. Maybe there is a guardian angel in my horizon that will help see me through this torturous adventure.
Actually, what I will do now is get over being angry and frustrated by having a quick lunch, a piece of leftover Popeye’s chicken, then a quick walk, and then I will get back to work on my mom’s book, by myself, and try to figure out how in the hell I will sell that book, by myself.
What I do know is this, until the time comes when I get something out of all this hard work, whether I do it alone or not or not, I will hold my breath and forge ahead, weary, frustrated, but fairly happy and quite full…of greasy fried chicken!