BEING ME

blog pix

There is so much on my plate right now that I can barely breathe.  But, breathe I must or I will pass out and probably die.  And if I die my two cats with be forced to eat ME as they can’t work the can opener or the refrigerator.   What a horrible thought and en even more horrible graphic.  Actually, being me right now isn’t such a bad thing.

Seriously, I am busy as hell doing what I finally am able to concentrate on, writing and knitting.  Being unemployed is not good, being broke sucks.  But, I am finally doing what I have aspired to do since I was in my teens, be nappy.  oops, I meant “happy,” be happy! I am a California gal, I just want to smile and be happy, no stress, no worries, pay rent, pay my bills, but be happy. 

When I was a teenager and I got to peek at a film script for movie More American Graffiti and I decided then that I wanted to write.  I started knitting when I was a girl, but I was bullied in middle school and high school for knitting and crocheting my own jumpers and hats.  But, I kept up both as best I could do, I am basically self-taught in both fields.

Unfortunately, I never kept journals, but I wrote plays for the kids in my neighborhood, mainly to keep them off the streets and from hurting each other.  When I noticed how talented the kids were and how enthused they were about being in plays I was hooked on writing.  I ran away from under my mother’s apron strings at twenty-three and went to Los Angeles; back home I studied acting and fancied being a Hollywood sitcom star.  Tee Vee dreams went south and I eventually returned to writing plays.  I had a few successes and won minor awards in L.A., but I returned home in the 1990s just when the economy sucked and local play theaters went  out of business.  I could not afford to produce my own work and I did not have enough resources to help me.  Unfortunately, I lost my playwright’s “mojo.”

in 2002 I discovered my mother was ill and two years later I placed her into an “assisted living” facility.  It was then that I discovered a literary book voice I never knew I had.  I started writing a book of poems; a memoir for mom and short stories including a book about a man slash cat, Spoiled Beyond Recognition.  I am currently writing my first full-length fiction novel, Girl With the Upside-Down Guitar; A fiction novel inspired by one of the author’s favorite movies, 1950 classic, “All About Eve,” starring Bette Davis and Celeste Holm.  “Girl With the Upside-Down Guitar,” is about sex; rock & roll; lies; adultery; blind ambition; extreme narcissism; delusion; and the corruption and manipulation of social media. The book is about one woman, a selfish ingenue obsessed with fame and fortune.

my GIRL book draft! “Draft” cover version, 2013

And, here I am, years later after having taken a “leap of faith” to focus on my literary and crafts life.  I am focused on me, not the dutiful daughter, sister or friend.  I am finally doing what makes me happy.  I am busy with blogs and websites to facilitate, employment to seek and a social life; I am a bit of a shut-in, although, the internet is helping me become more sociable. 

What is the point to this blog?  Well, I am not one for tooting my own horn, so to state, but I must admit for a old broke heffa with two elderly no-job-having pussies, depleted bank accounts and an expired bus pass, I am not doing too poorly.  I am doing everything on my own which is very difficult, but I am doing it with the push and determination I never thought I had. At a time when most people at mid-life are winding down and craving retirement in their second throng, I am just getting my life started!  I feel like my mojo is in place and ready to help me “get it crackin’!” More important, I am proud of myself for not giving up.  I almost did give up, but I am back on track because my head and my heart know what they want.  With a firm sense of fortitude and courage I am ready to take on my dreams full throttle!

And there it is.  And here I am.  And away I go; best seller; massive sales, fans; fame.  Yeap, I do believe being me right now is a good thing.  I do believe I am ready for my close-up.

See ya soon! LDS

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