Red Bliss

 

Pull the rope

that rings the Red Bell

to chime in a tone of hope

with an everlasting glorious resonance!

red bell  I walk in Red High Heeled Shoes…. red shoes

….Along a Red Hued path

in a warm Red Forrest

whose branches embrace me

and stroke me and happily bend

to my stride.

red forrestAt the end of the warm Red Hued path

White Snow

A wooden bench in white snow

A Red Pot of a lovely beverage with two red cups .

They wait for me

in the snow

And HE waits for me

And the snow is cold, but beautiful. red tea pot and cupsAnd when the pot is empty.

The Red Door opens

And we both relish peaceful

unfettered

comfortable

Warm Red Bliss.

red doorCheers!!!

BEYOND GOLDEN

golden writingA door has finally crept open, just a crack, just a bit to allow me to walk through.

With the help of “saints” and “special souls” I am able to realize my life-long dream of becoming a television writer.  My script might not make “traditional” television, it might  only become a short piece that piggy backs off some other show I am told.  WHO CARES?  I am just grateful to have a stab at something that makes ME feel happy and fulfilled.  They can put my show on the internet for free for all I care, as long as it is what I created.

I have only wanted one thing in my life, never achieved that, and yet I have done many other things, but only having performed them fairly well.  My mom used to teasing refer to me as a, “jack of all trades, master of none.”  She wanted me to pick one thing and do it well, but I just could not, I was all over the place. And now that I don’t have time to waste on lofty dreams and goals I may finally be forced to concentrate on doing one thing well, one thing that I have wanted to be since I was younger, become “a professional writer who gets paid doing what I love.”  Once I achieve that status all will be well with the world.  Until then I’ve got script re-writes, drafts and I will have to partner with other more established writers before anything happens with my script.  Again, WHO CARES?  I’m celebrating my artistic life!

Until I see my writing to a positive fruition, with the way Hollywood operates I will have to hold on to my 9 to 5 job, I’ll remain hopeful.  Hopeful and grateful to have a job, albeit a very stressful and draining job.  But, I will hold on to as much faith as I can in order to thrive beyond the bill paying world.  I will hold on to faith and believe that I will finally become the artist I was meant to be.  I am always golden, grateful to live and breathe and be healthy, but I am not completely in sync with my life, not while there is so much more living I need to do.  I am sounding like I have given way to a “positive affirmation” blog, buy oh well, whatever.  I will focus harder work harder on my goals and write harder.  When my big moment as a writer arrives and I see my work branch out from keyboard and computer screen to something bigger and more prosperous and on a more permanent basis I will truly be now and forever, BEYOND GOLDEN.

Cheers!  LDS

golden champs_edited

I AM Golden

golden doorGolden is how I feel. 

Resplendent and gliding

my small wide feet against stoned path and

Crushing weariness into a hopeful dust

To a an closed now open door.

golden 5 Golden is how I feel. 

Triumphant, tall and brilliant

like Naomi

Mocha, fierce and fabulous

and strong and knowing

I AM someone you want to know.

golden 2Golden is how I feel.

Into my mouth I place golden fruit

that glistens my gums and my tongue.

I shine golden and I sing golden and I speak golden.

I AM golden in this moment.

 golden 6  golden 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Golden is how I feel.

With my freshly brewed morning cup and

golden chocolate drops

soothing and energizing my welcoming belly.

I am golden with refreshing LOVE and LIGHT

and I can see and think clearly.

golden 7Golden is how I feel.

Golden is who I am.

Golden is where I stand

Golden is where I belong.

I am Golden.

 

“Two Birds, One Stone”

I never really enjoyed hearing the phrase “kill two birds with one stone,” I could never be so cruel.  But, it’s only a phrase, you’re doing as much as you can with what little time you’ve got. I chose to use the phrase as title for my latest video, a brief bit of travel for business, or as the hip-hoppers say, “being on my grind,” and some fun.  The business or “grind” deals with my upcoming fiction book, “Girl With the Upside Down Guitar.”  More on that later.  The “fun” was supposed to be a visit to the Grammy Museum to see the Donna Summer exhibit, featuring some of her costumes, writing and art work.  I believe these contributions were given their blessing by Donna’s husband Bruce Sudano and Donna’s three daughters, Mimi Dohler, Brooklyn Sudano-McGlafin and Amanda Sudano-Ramirez.  sisters and the Gaines family and respective families.  And I believe the exhibit got the blessing of Donna’s sisters and the Gaines family and respective families.

Now that I think about it, “kill two birds?” after having viewed the personal belongings of legends such as Tupac Shakur, Mike Jackson and Donna Summer?  OMG, what an idiot I am!  I might have phrased that better.  ~sigh~  Wow.  I think what I am trying to do with my life now is grab passion, work hard for passion and live life with as much passion as possible.  That’s all I want to do right now, not kill two birds.  I want to live my life to the fullest and do as much as I can with what time I have left. Perhaps that is what my title should have been, “life and passion,” not “two birds, one stone.”  Well, who cares, too late. Geesh!  :c(

Visiting the museum was not exactly the thrill I thought it would be.  The museum is a nice site nestled amongst a thriving bustling downtown Los Angeles, wow!  I had not lived in LA since the 80’s, what an expansion!  But, how could the fun really be fun when I can’t Tweet or Facebook or Instagram such wonderfully talented artists as Pac, Jackson or Summer and thank them for their contributions?  So, I was a bit sad about having to see their pictures behind glass showcases rather than in person.  But, ah Donna, well she was special to me.  I was a teen a when she flourished musically, I tried to sing like her, my voice back then sounded only slightly similar, and I mean ONLY SLIGHTLY.  And, I had no idea Donna was so gifted, so “deep” and so tall!  And Donna spoke German, she left for Europe just out of high school, very impressive.  Just a few things I learned about her from reading her book and viewing her online videos.  Great lady. 

I admired Donna because she was not only a talented singer with a huge vocal range, alto, soprano, etc., but Donna took chances and she was a wife and mother; a life that I never got to experience.  The exhibit showed off Donna’s beautiful paintings; pencil renditions of costume design, her writings and a couple of videos showcasing her musical abilities and dramatic flare. I believe Donna had it all and I admired her for her drive, risk taking and passion.  My passion?  Well, it left the building years ago. but I am working hard to get it back.  I am not aiming to become the iconic star Donna was, but I would not mind inspiring people like I think she did for me.  To be passionate, take chances and live the life you set out to have.

Until I write again, hopefully with a clearer head for blog titles, enjoy the video and the song at the end called “I’m a Fire” from Donna Summer’s album, Crayons.  It is a remix created in 2008, by someone named Matty Soulflower.   I chose the song to celebrate Donna and her “transition” as it took me this long to deal with her death, not mourn her life.  The version of her song is very San Francisco club mix. In honor of Miss Donna and others who have left far too soon, enjoy.

Cheers! LDS

“All Work, FINALLY Some Play”

Last night I went out for what seems like a once-a-year type event these days, dinner and show.  Had a great time listening to what I consider a blend of bluegrass, rock, blues and soul from three bands at Slim’s downtown SF.  The young man who headlines the last band, a self-titled band, THE SAM CHASE, was very warm and friendly when I was able to approach him after the show.  He actually allows people on stage for the finale, I suspect many of them knew all the songs and are followers of Sam’s.  He has a new fan in me for sure.  Very energetic, fun and Sam’s voice gives me a louder version of Bob Dylan, I mean the boy can scream and growl with the best of the old school blues singers!  His mom, Sheila, is a friend and neighbor of my good friend, so I caught an invited ride home with her.  Course, it took us a minute to find her car.  But, it was a warm and lovely evening, so the walk did us great. :c)

But, a good time was had and I appreciate the free ticket and food.  I will try my best to make going out like I used to do a bi-monthly event.  Check out the video and enjoy.  (The two bands who proceeded, Marty O’Reily & the Old Soul Orchestra and Arann Harris & the Farm Band, were equally impressive).

DUST

Dust

A study in darkness
is a study in depth.
A study in darkness and depth
transcends a weary creative soul
and blends breath with blood
and blood with dust.
There is no sorrow or pain
in a grey and silver world
Only light
Only love
Only billowing warmth
of ascending grey bubbles
that burst from inside a silver bottle
that broke and filled
the air with tears of joy.
Tears that caressed broad strokes
across a palate
that is my hopeful soul.
I breathed grey and silver dust
to the wind today
And in return the wind
blew me gently to the clouds
and I rose smiling and illuminating. LDS

Life, Animals, Humans, Love, Loss. Life Still

All of us come with “baggage” both animals and humans. We all come with genetic coding that either does us in or stays with us longer than we care for it to, Cancer; MS; CP; Mental Illness; Depression; Schizophrenia; Bipolarism; blindness; etc.

Najee boy cat Najee – 2013

I adopted my boy tabby, Najee Zaire, 13 years ago when mom received her Dementia diagnosis. Had no man, no kids in my life, I needed someone or something to offer my heart to. I adopted a girl cat, Pemba Zimbabwe, a year later.

Pemba ZPemba – 2013

And now, 13 years later recent six hundred f**king dollar blood tests prove my girl at 12 yrs old is of exemplary health.  The boy on the other hand developed a type of Stage 2 Diabetes which means additional expensive-ass vet food plus expensive-ass insulin shots that I must learn to administer this week, I’ll do it myself because he hates going to the motherf**king vet; have to put him on sedatives just to get him into the carrier on the way to the vet.  And, the vet tells me he’s to be given  human insulin.  HUMAN insulin for animals, really? And there’s no way for my insurance to cover the cost.  Seriously?  Really?  What-the-who?

Ah, life.

I believe it is time for me to move forward, just as life does, it moves forward.  No more hanging onto the “dutiful” coattails of being good daughter, nursemaid and “mommy.” My mother, whom I cannot bring myself to visit any longer and my boy cat, who is frail, will have to rest safe and sound inside my heart and soul. They have to because I have to move on so that I may allow someone “special” to move in. Whomever that someone is, I must allow him…

…Into my heart…

…Into my soul…

Soon.

Soon.

Soon.

And when (they) pass,

I will cry hard and long on strong, masculine shoulders.

But, not just ears of sadness,

Tears of hopefulness that they will be free

And I will be free and I will move forward

Just as life moves forward.

I will rest and let my tears dry,

And when the moment of grief has passed,

However long it takes to pass

I will know as I have always known,

LIFE moves forward. Still. 

And so will I.

L.D. Sargent